Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
