what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize