so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize