my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
