Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
