i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
