Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
