Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
