You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
