Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
