hotel room ftw
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
