I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
