No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
