So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize