im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he thought i was a dude.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
