Dual....:-)
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
