I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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