I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
