No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
