whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
smell my finger.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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