I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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