He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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