So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
