i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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