your parents love me but you hate me
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
