Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
