i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
They took my balls.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
