google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize