Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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