all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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