How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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