This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i dont even know how to be here
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
