I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
