So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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