I think I died a long time ago.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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