she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've blown a few things in my day
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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