Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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