The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
