I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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