Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize