I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
