Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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