you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
