i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize