I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize