My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
