I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
