the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I want a musical about memes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize