You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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