so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
