watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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