Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
