somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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