Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
