so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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