the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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