Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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