This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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