Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
