Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
