Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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