Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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